Culinary Science and Lies

One day has now passed since the little blog pushed its way through to the internets. Dan has still not drawn any new sketches. Thus I am forced to further belittle him. Today he shall become the experimental subject of a scientific field I discovered last summer: Gastrophysics. Oh, so you say that other people may have already coined this term or come up with this concept? Well, Wikipedia doesn’t have a page on it and my spellchecker doesn’t recognize it, so I’m going to assume that all those other people obviously don’t hold any highly distinguished scientific degrees like I do.*

Tonight I can only reveal a piece of my discovery as the world is simply not ready.

Dan=d
Cheese=c
Fart=f
Smell=s

d+c=f
d+c=s
f does not = s, however the amount of f is proportional to the amount of s
[f]:3c+d=9s

Does that equation make any sense? I don’t really know, it’s been a long time since I did real math. However, whether it makes sense does not matter. I created it and so it must be accurate.

As a side note, the Boston Celtics may have found a divine link between gastrophysics and peanut butter & jelly That’s right, good ol’ pb&j can be “transcended.”

Today’s tip for the day:

Don’t lie to your children and tell them that their favorite cartoon hero is dead.

My boss, who deserves a blog of his own, has several children. What did one of his kids request for his birthday? A Diego the Animal Rescuer cake. However, when my boss went on his quest for the cake, he found that only Dora (la exploradora) had reached high enough fame levels to have her own cake. So he purchased a Curious George cake and hoped for the best. Once he revealed the cake, what did he do? Did he admit defeat? No! He said, “Son, Diego’s dead.”

His son solemnly accepted that Diego would not be present for his birthday, and did not bother to ask what had happened. The next day, his son saw Diego on TV and asked my boss what was going on. My boss explained that Diego had been resurrected.

I laughed at the story and wondered what else could my boss have done in the situation. Or so I wondered until I did a Google image search for “Diego animal rescuer cake” and found this:

A DIEGO CAKE RECIPE!!

And this:

Diego is most certainly not dead my friends.

*By degree I mean black belt in super awesome imaginativeness.

Day 1

Once upon a time a new blog was born. It lived in a land far far away where the internet did not exist. This little blog struggled hard and traveled far to launch its way into the blogosphere. The little blog had a true mission and was determined to become “googleable.” What mission could be so great? To make fun of Dan of course!*

*Dan is the blog creator’s boyfriend, not girlfriend.

His left armpit smells more than his right one, he burps in public, and his face looks kind of funny. That and he still hasn’t drawn any more comics for http://carorinu.com, or developed his Ninja Varnish t-shirt. So what does he do instead? Nothing because he’s a smelly bum. Oh, so he “studies” or “is preparing to start his math PhD at UCONN.” Bah, I think that drawing little sketches is far more important.

But wait, does this blog have the ability, the power, the strength of will to be anything but silly? Probably not. Perhaps it will try from time to time. It would be daft for this to turn entirely into an anti-Dan venue, although there would probably be an endless supply of material. Instead, I will try to keep it random.

Potatoes!

Now for my tip of the day:

Go to the Beach!

I don’t need to give you any reasons to go. Check the weather and go!