Culinary Science and Lies

One day has now passed since the little blog pushed its way through to the internets. Dan has still not drawn any new sketches. Thus I am forced to further belittle him. Today he shall become the experimental subject of a scientific field I discovered last summer: Gastrophysics. Oh, so you say that other people may have already coined this term or come up with this concept? Well, Wikipedia doesn’t have a page on it and my spellchecker doesn’t recognize it, so I’m going to assume that all those other people obviously don’t hold any highly distinguished scientific degrees like I do.*

Tonight I can only reveal a piece of my discovery as the world is simply not ready.

Dan=d
Cheese=c
Fart=f
Smell=s

d+c=f
d+c=s
f does not = s, however the amount of f is proportional to the amount of s
[f]:3c+d=9s

Does that equation make any sense? I don’t really know, it’s been a long time since I did real math. However, whether it makes sense does not matter. I created it and so it must be accurate.

As a side note, the Boston Celtics may have found a divine link between gastrophysics and peanut butter & jelly That’s right, good ol’ pb&j can be “transcended.”

Today’s tip for the day:

Don’t lie to your children and tell them that their favorite cartoon hero is dead.

My boss, who deserves a blog of his own, has several children. What did one of his kids request for his birthday? A Diego the Animal Rescuer cake. However, when my boss went on his quest for the cake, he found that only Dora (la exploradora) had reached high enough fame levels to have her own cake. So he purchased a Curious George cake and hoped for the best. Once he revealed the cake, what did he do? Did he admit defeat? No! He said, “Son, Diego’s dead.”

His son solemnly accepted that Diego would not be present for his birthday, and did not bother to ask what had happened. The next day, his son saw Diego on TV and asked my boss what was going on. My boss explained that Diego had been resurrected.

I laughed at the story and wondered what else could my boss have done in the situation. Or so I wondered until I did a Google image search for “Diego animal rescuer cake” and found this:

A DIEGO CAKE RECIPE!!

And this:

Diego is most certainly not dead my friends.

*By degree I mean black belt in super awesome imaginativeness.