A week has now passed since this little blog’s start date. One can only hope (or at least I can) that it will continue to live on through several more weeks, and perhaps even a few months, dare I say a year?
Today’s entry will be tip heavy. I currently work in customer service in a medium-ish sized company. Every day I learn something new and am continuously amazed by some of the comments I hear from customers. Thankfully, I mostly come across customers who are familiar with the world of academia and who are able (although not often willing) to read a confirmation e-mail. Occasionally we will receive phone calls from befuddled Houston citizens who are simply looking to reclaim their food stamps (aka estampillas de comida). Every now and then someone will call and ask who we are as they’ve never heard of us before, but somehow our company has charged their credit card. When I explain that the order appears to be fraudulent and that they should probably contact their credit card company, the reply is often, “Well I know the credit card wasn’t stolen because it’s in my wallet right now.” To clarify, a lot of our business is done on the company’s website.
Tip 1 to Customers: Don’t be afraid to joke with your service rep. Don’t make sarcastic remarks about something about the company you do not like. Believe me, we have heard it all before and might actually agree. However, a little joke here and there can certainly make the day go by just a little bit faster. You don’t want to be remembered as the crazy customer who no one in the department wants to speak with. When placing on order online, be creative. One customer entered this information:
Institution: (customer’s last name)’s House of Pleasure
Job Title: Lead Dungeon Master
Department: Pain Tower 4
Kudos to the Lead Dungeon Master, who appeared to actually be a student from Allston, MA. The Special Instructions box is not only for leaving shipping information, but also for leaving cute little comments, like “Save the Whales,” or “Why do I have to pay for this???!!!”
Singing over the phone could be interesting too. A few of my coworkers had one customer call, sing for a few seconds, ask “Do you like my song?” and then giggle before hanging up. She remains a legend to this day.
Tip 2: Don’t get surprised when the username you want already exists. This falls into the customer feeling “high and mighty” category.* Don’t try to rationalize the way usernames and automatically generated passwords work. It will make you crazy. Many of my favorite calls originate from customers who try to create new accounts on our website. They do not understand that other customers may have already taken the username they want. Such as, “Well, my last name is Johnson, so I tried to create username Johnson. I don’t understand why it’s not working.” One woman actually tried to convince me that the website was “lying” to her because usernames “pillow” and “silly” were already taken. She could hardly believe it when I explained that several Thai customers had already used a variety of combinations of “pillow” in their usernames. A similar conversation had a woman try to create the username “jackass,” which again proved to be a fairly popular choice. A username can be anything you want. Your boss can be named John Smith but choose a username like misty08. Do not doubt that Mr. Smith can and will do this.
Tip 3: Do not overly explain your situation. Instead, state what your question is about. We don’t like to interrupt you and will feel especially bad if we need to transfer you somewhere else. Also, it’s not always necessary. For example, you never need to explain why you need an invoice. I would also recommend refraining from sharing too much personal information. One woman was incredibly happy when I told her how to purchase a product she was interested in. Instead of saying “Thanks” and hanging up, she went on for about ten minutes explaining how depressed she had been over the last year. I am glad to know that our products help people find meaning in their lives, but what am I supposed to say in a conversation like that? “Is there anything else you’d like to purchase?” One of my coworkers had a customer tell her that she could give him a call anytime she happened to be visiting his country. That also, is a bit strong.
Perhaps I will offer more tips in future entries. I will end tonight by saying that Dan is still dumb and quite the nerd. I mean, who else would bring math books on the T for a little “light reading?”
*By “high and mighty” I mean that the customer believes that he or she knows everything. The customer will often try to explain how our company works or why something we say cannot be true. I would like to emphasize that we know our product better than you think we do.
