The Ninja Learns to Always Read the Ingredients First

Edamame was clueless as to where he should head next. His journey to France had made him a mini celebrity (in both stature and fame), as he had managed to bring attention to several pastry chefs. Tourists and locals had been perplexed by a small ninja running into bakeries and trying a variety of desserts. As meringue sales went up, the bakery owners requested to have their pictures taken with Edamame. Newspapers featured him in their Arts & Wine sections and rumors spread throughout towns of the fierce little warrior with a sweet tooth. However, Edamame was focused on his mission and unable to speak or read French. So he continued through Europe, ignoring the head stares and camera phones pointed in his direction.

Europe was proving to be a challenge. He made his way up to Denmark and Sweden but found that everyone he met only wanted to offer him flavored vodka or pear cider. Edamame certainly wasn’t old enough for alcohol yet and

so had to politely decline all of the friendly offers he received. While wandering through Malmo, he heard someone whisper to him from an alley.

“Hey little ninja guy, come here!”

“Who are you?” Edamame asked?

“A friend who understands you. I can help you find what you’re looking for.”

“How can I trust you?”

“I give you my word. I know the pain that comes with choosing blue cheese dressing over a vinaigrette. Go to Argentina little ninja. A long time ago, the Argentines realized that they had a dreadful reaction to milk. As a result they banished all cows and developed their own, milk free dessert: Dulce de Leche. ‘Leche’ means milk and ‘dulce de’ means free of. The country will welcome you with open arms.”

“They have no cows? I thought I had read somewhere that Argentina had cowboys…”

“Silence! If you plan to succeed on your quest, then go to Argentina.”

Edamame’s eyes brightened as he imagined a country filled with delicious milk free desserts. He made his way down South, passing through mountains, desserts, and waterfalls. He sped through to Buenos Aires and ran into a pastry shop. He tried asking the man in the store about dulce de leche, but he didn’t understand Spanish. He found out quickly that it’s pronounced “dool say” and not “dool che.” The man in the shop chuckled and then gave him a large serving of it alongside a banana. “A banana!” Edamame thought. “This must truly be what I need!” With just one bite, Edamame was in love. It tasted good on almost every fruit, on bread, and even by itself. He was not able to control himself and spent days at a time eating it up. But, he realized that his stomach was grumbling all the time. It ached and felt kind of funny. He’d barely thought about the other members of his ninja clan. How had he let himself get so distracted? The meringues had never made him act this way. 

One morning he was not able to get out of bed as he found his tummy hurt too much. He slept for hours until he was eventually able to muster up enough energy to speak with the woman at the front desk of his hostel. “How does one make dulce de leche?” he asked her. She did not understand what he had said and so pulled out a container of dulce de leche. He shook his head and said, “Donde esta internet?” She pointed him in the direction of the nearest locutorio (or internet cafe) and gave him a few centavos. He looked up dulce de leche and discovered that “leche” did in fact mean milk, but “dulce de” most certainly did not mean free of. In fact, it roughly translated to milk candy, or milk-based syrup. His face dropped in horror as he realized how badly he had been tricked. How had he not noticed the fields filled with cows on his journey southward? One of Argentina’s biggest exports was beef! In fact, Argentines ate beef all the time. Finally the phrases carne asada and parilla made sense. A typical Argentine barbecue consists of eating as much of the cow as possible! How that man had fooled him! No longer could he be as careless in his journeys. His enemy had learned of his existence and now knew his location. He would have to work harder to conceal himself and would certainly need to pay more attention to dessert ingredients!