Edamame discovers a new world of adventure

Edamame tuckered himself out with his quest and so decided to go back to training for a while. However, he found himself getting tired easily and lacked the passion he had previously shown in the dojo. One day his sensei took him aside and said, “Edamame, I think it’s time you went on vacation.”

Edamame replied, “But I’ve hardly been around at all these last few months. If I cannot complete my quest then I must continue my training.”

“My son, you demonstrate the discipline of a true ninja. But all of us need to take vacation sometimes. You are young and are tired beyond your years. Go, take a break. That is an order.”

Edamame slunk out of the dojo and booked a plane trip home. He was a little bit sad as he felt that he’d let himself down, but he was also relieved to see his family again. A couple days later he got off the plane to see his parents and brother waiting for him by the baggage claim. His parents were small too but his brother was almost normal sized. They’d had to move houses after he was born because he was too big to sleep in an oven mitt. They didn’t mind though because they finally had someone tall enough to put the star on top of the Christmas tree. 

“Welcome home Edamame!” his mother exclaimed. “We are so happy to have you back. Even Auntie Ninjin is coming over for dinner.”

Edamame smiled and looked forward to climbing into his own bed for some much deserved rest. However, once they got home Edamame realized that he would not be going to bed any time soon. His mom had invited almost his entire family over for dinner and they would all be staying the night. 

“You’re the star of the show tonight!” his father informed him. “We all want to know what you’ve been up to since the last time we saw you.” 

At dinner everyone turned to Edamame and became silent. The dojo had to be semi-secretive about its activities so no one really knew anything about his adventures. He explained to them about his love for ice cream and how he discovered he was lactose intolerant. He described his travels through the United States, Spain, France, and Sweden. About how he’d been followed by his enemy in Argentina, China, and eventually Indonesia. He shared his pictures and the recipes he’d learned. His cousins asked him millions of questions and wanted to know if he could really beat up all those bad guys. He blushed, his ninja modesty preventing him from answering.

Then Aunt Ninjin said, “You know, your cousin Ringo is also lactose intolerant. I give her these lactaid pills and she can eat all the ice cream she wants. Here, have one.”

She pulled a bottle out of her purse and handed a couple of pills to Edamame. Then she got up and got some vanilla ice cream out of the kitchen and placed a bowl in front of him. His eyes bulged out of his head as he began to realize that he would finally be able to eat his precious ice cream. All of his problems would be solved!

He picked up a spoon, took a bite, and paused. His family looked at him waiting for a response. His face scrunched up and he yelled, “I HATE IT! I HAAAAATE IT YUK YUK YUK GROSS GROSS GROSS!”

“But does your tummy hurt?” Aunt Ninjin wanted to know.

“No.”

“Well then the pills do a pretty good job I’d say.” Aunt Ninjin sat back with a smug look on her face.”

“But I hate it. But what about everything I’ve done these past few months, all the recipes, and all the bad dreams? I have missed out on my training and my duties! Now I can never be a true ninja. It’s all been wasted!” 

“Oh Edamame,” his mother said. “It has not been wasted. Just think of all of the wonderful things you have seen and the people you’ve met. You are so young, you have time to become a true ninja.”

“I believe you are right mother. And you know, I’ve discovered that I hate one dessert, but there are many others that I like now!”

Edamame finally felt at ease. His quest had ended. However, he loved traveling too much to give it up and so decided to take a ninja gap year. He would try to pick up any neat recipes he found along the way, although they might not always be for dessert. He would also be sure to bring his lactaid pills, just in case he couldn’t get by without dairy. And he decided he would maybe even blog about his adventures. Keep an eye out for Edamame’s first stop to Portugal!

A Useless Tale of Ice Cream

As Dan still has not created the Ninja Varnish t-shirt, I will try to bring our little ninja pal to life in a different light. We shall call him Edamame. 

Edamame is by no means a standard ninja. At eight inches in height, his clan highly values him for being able to gracefully hide in potted plants and mailboxes. Each night he sets out to complete a different task, working as the clan’s top spy. None of the other clans have managed to find out their secret. Have they placed cameras in every location? Could traitors be lurking in every corner? How would they ever suspect an eight inch tall ninja? Every morning Edamame curls up in an oven mitt and sleeps until his next training session.  

What his teachers and pupils do not know, is that while he sleeps, Edamame dreams of ice cream. The flavors and toppings vary. He doesn’t care if the scoop is cookie dough, mint chocolate chip, black raspberry, or Americone Dream.  Why, you may wonder, does he dream of ice cream? Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to dream of beautiful ninja women, noodles, or nunchaku? Sadly for Edamame, his master has forbidden him to indulge in ice cream. 

Oftentimes, Edamame will dream of a conversation he had with his master:

Edamame: Sensei, will I one day be able to eat ice cream like my fellow ninjas?

Master: No, my brave Edamame. For you are lactose intolerant. With just one scoop, you may succumb to only the worst pain and reveal our secret. No one must ever know of your alliance with us. Ice cream could lead to your undoing. 

Edamame strives to be the best and struggles between his love of the frozen treat and his loyalty to the clan. Typically, Edamame sneaks into the clan’s kitchen in the afternoon and grabs bananas, chips, and raisins in the hopes of staving a vicious ice cream craving. To distract himself, he runs twice as many laps as his fellow ninjas and spends his spare time in the dojo, away from the freezer. Lately his dreams have woken him up abruptly. He sees a member of the other clan, grinning evilly over a pint of cookies and cream. He beckons to Edamame, seeming to understand his greatest weakness. Edamame is no longer able to resist and runs towards the ice cream. Not bothering to grab a spoon, he dives into the container and stuffs whatever has not yet melted into his mouth. Moments later his enemy laughs as Edamame is overcome with pain. The lid of the container closes above his head. Edamame wakes up fearing that his nightmare will come true in a matter of hours.

He reassures himself that none of his enemies know of his existence, let alone his love for frozen dairy. The dreams have become too much and he must put them to an end. The only solution is to travel the world until he finds a dessert worthy of his admiration. A dessert that is lactose free and worth dying for. 

But where would he begin?

To be continued…